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💼 Job Updates
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"One chapter closed so another could begin"

What they really mean

A collapse just occurred and I am speedrunning narrative closure

On LinkedIn

"Sometimes one chapter has to close so another can begin. I'm embracing what comes next with curiosity and gratitude."

In reality

"I need this to sound like literature because the literal facts are rough."

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Related Phrases

"After much reflection"

I got fired two weeks ago and finally stopped crying

"I'm excited to announce that I'm starting a new chapter"

I got laid off and my therapist said to reframe it positively

"#OpenToWork"

Please for the love of God someone hire me

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